Honey Line
by Hori Midorikawa
Summary: Alfred is a little put out Arthur doesn't pay attention to him when he's cooking, so he'll have to grab his attention SOME way  Sort-Of-PWP, Human!AU, Fail!Summary


**Honey Line**

It was just like a normal day. Alfred had just gotten home from the office and noticed Arthur in the kitchen with an apron on.

Oh _joy_, the Brit was going to cook dinner.

Arthur turned around and faced him, upon hearing his footsteps enter the kitchen, squeaking on the lino, and waved his ladle, a determined look on his face. "I'm going to cook something nice for our dinner tonight! So don't you dare complain, you git!"

Alfred's tired face darkened. Arthur was going to kill him. And not in a good way, why couldn't he die from, I dunno, sexual exhaustion rather than food poisoning?

'But if it makes him happy, I can't say no...'

/

Arthur was now by the stove, chopping up vegetables and boiling -incinerating- them, while Alfred was sitting at the table, waiting, impatiently, for Arthur to finish.

'Oh god, I'm so bored! He's taking forever with this! I have nothing to do, I just wanted to come home and have sex, or sleep, sleep is good, then I have more energy for sex, but no, I have to eat first!'

And normally Alfred would never, _EVER_, complain about having to eat, even if it was created by the worst chef in the whole entire world.

Somewhere along the line, Arthur had started whistling, and Alfred propped his head on his arms bent over the table. He got a glance of Arthur's smiling, happy face when he turned to the side to pick up a leek...or spring onion, Alfred couldn't tell, but did It even matter? It's a vegetable, they suck! If it's not in a burger, vegetables are unacceptable in eating terms!

...N-not as if he used them for other things, that is!

'Arthur why can't you talk to me when you're cooking at least...?'

Alfred slammed his face down on the table in frustration. 'I bet he's talking with his _'friends'_ again...'

He stared off into space for a moment before standing up, pushing his chair back with a tiny scrape as he did so, and walked to where his lover was ...'creating', and wrapped his arms around his slim, delicate waist.

"Ah- Alfred?" Arthur squeaked out in surprise. One moment he had been happily chopping potatoes, then suddenly there had been a tight grip around his waist, naturally he was a bit startled.

The knife in the Brit's hand shimmered on the edge, aided by the wetness from inside the vegetable, and Alfred turned his head away, a nervous expression painted on his face.

'Should have thought this through...'

"Alfred...what the bloody hell are you doing? I'm trying to chop things here! Do you _want_ me to cut off your little _'friend'_?"

Alfred blanched a tiny bit, because a hero like him would never get scared! Hell no, getting scared was for pussies like Arthur! ...Don't tell him he said that. But he didn't exactly want to lose his man package, so he knocked the knife from his lovers hand, and it landed on the counter in front of them, a reasonable distance so that accidents would not occur. Nobody wants to have to go to the hospital when sexy times are happening, am I right?

He leaned closer to the sandy blonde, gently cupping his chin with one hand and sniffing his hair gently. It smelt like roses. "I was getting lonely...You're not mad at me are you? I just wanted to spend time with you, darling..."

Arthur felt a blush spread over his cheeks, oh how did he love it when Alfred was sweet with him. He guesses that, despite the regular arguments, that was one of the things keeping them together, along with others, but that particular one was important, to both of them.

Although, normally Alfred was sweet when he wanted someth-

"Ah...Alfred what the bloody fuck are you doing?" Arthur cried as Alfred bent him over the counter a little, slipping one hand into his unbuckled trousers.

When did the American even undo them?

He gripped the counter tightly as Alfred's hand rutted around in his trousers, tugging his boxers down.

"I just wanna have fun babe, like I told you~ I want to spend time with you, so I am!"

He drew the elders cock out of his pants, it was already flushed red at the tip and oozing pre-cum. It was still one of the most beautiful things Alfred had seen in his whole life, and not to brag, but he'd seen a lot of dick in his life! ...Even if a lot of it was due to the fact most of the people he knew liked to strip their clothes off randomly for no reason, especially Arthur's French cousin, he was the worst, but oh look, getting distracted here!

"Ah..A-Alfred, p-please, I'm busy...I-It's going to b-burn..." Arthur whimpered out as tears filled his eyes from embarrassment.

Alfred looked at the flushed Englishman with lust in his eyes, he really, _really_ didn't want to stop, and he was sure Arthur would kill him for doing so, despite how he was acting now. He caught a glance of something shining in the corner of his eye. He turned his head and saw a jar on the counter, 'honey'.

Wait, Arthur was going to put _honey _in a stew? Oh god, why? This is why improvisation is a _bad_ thing, people!

Nonetheless, as Arthur squeezed his eyes tightly, resting his chin on his hand as Alfred worked his -now wettened- hand over his cock, pumping furiously, Alfred reached his free hand over to the jar and picked it up, having to make his other hand retreat from his partner in order to open it.

"Augh!" Arthur cried out, his eyes widening as he felt something wet and sticky go between his legs, the feeling startling him. He turned round and glared at Alfred, who just looked him straight in the eyes, a lustful expression on his face.

"Alfred, what the hell are you doing you berk!" It was less of a question, rather, just a yell.

"Lubing you up with honey, what does it look like?" Alfred was never subtle, was he?

As one -gradually two- long, slender, honey-coated fingers slid in and out of him, the Brit panted loudly, wishing he wasn't being so aroused by having foodstuff used to lubricate his entrance.

The darker blonde gently tugged Arthur's shirt open with his other hand, pulling it down his back a little so he could kiss him gently. "You're just so sweet..." Another kiss "I had to prepare you with something as sweet as yourself..." More kisses until Alfred felt he'd sufficiently marked him, made it plain and clear the Brit was his and his only. "Not that this can really compare with you..."

'Damn Alfred can be really damn adorable sometimes...' Arthur pouted to himself, touched by the sentiment.

The American pushed Arthur's trousers and boxers down as far as he could, and licked up a drop of sweat trickling down his partners neck. "I'm going to go down, okay?"

"Wait-!"

Alfred had crouched behind Arthur, looking at the puckered, prepared hole in front of him, honey still smeared around his backside.

Oh god, this was going to be so good...

Alfred gently licked the cleft of the wonderful buttocks in front of him, his tongue making long, flat strokes against the heated skin as he savoured the taste of both Arthur's skin and the honey.

"It's so...uhnnn, it's so good, but...a-ahh, it feels so weir-Aaahahh!" Arthur whimpered out gently, unable to take the feelings going through his lower regions as his cock twitched at the stimulation his partner was giving his rear, oh god, oh god, why was he being so damn turned on, was he really that much of a pervert?

He could hear the wet noises coming from behind him as Alfred's tongue gently slipped into him, massaging his tight walls and driving him absolutely insane with need as he cried out for more.

Saliva trailed down Arthur's chin as he kept panting and gasping, trying to make it last by not reaching down and jerking himself off, no matter how badly he needed release, or how damn much it turned Alfred on whenever he was caught masturbating.

He whined at the loss of Alfred's tongue, wanting the pleasure back. He gripped onto the ledge of the counter tightly, despite his shaking arms, wondering what his lover doing. Why wasn't he touching him dammit?

He squealed as he felt something large pushing against his opening, pressing it's way inside. "AGH! W-What!"

He looked behind him, his face red and eyes wide and tearful as he looked up at his lover. "D-don't just put it in there without warn-"

He stopped himself when he saw what Alfred was holding in his hand.

Now, Alfred lied when he said he never used vegetables for anything other than eating in rare circumstances.

Because in his hand, was a large carrot, honey dripping off the end of it.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD! Give me that, it was meant to be for our dinner you little sod! Don't go shoving stuff like that up my arse, I hadn't even gotten to clean it yet!"

"Woah, calm down old man!"

"I will not calm down when you're shoving vegetables into me when it's your damn cock I want!"

Alfred smiled down at him lovingly. "Don't worry."

He gripped hold of Arthur's arm that had been flailing in a failed attempt to snatch the vegetable and pressed the thin end of the carrot slowly back inside his lover, watching it dissapear into him slowly.

Sweat rolled down Alfred's face, who knew he'd get so hot and bothered just from this?

"Uahh! No! D-don't! Stop it!"

Arthur cried out each time the long, orange food item was thrust into his tight hole, feeling it spread him apart and penetrate him like how he wished the American would, because the carrot wasn't long enough to hit his prostate like Alfred's cock could ever so easily, it wasn't warm like Alfred either. He wanted _Alfred._

He was such a mess, honey and saliva trailing down his legs and pre-cum dripping from his cock, and _oh god_ it was too much, he couldn't hold on much longer, especially with Alfred letting go of his arm in favour of gripping one of his soft, pale butt cheeks and penetrating him even _goddamn_ _deeper_ with the carrot.

"A-ah! Ah! AH! A-Alfred, I'm c-cumming! I- AHHHHH!" He yelled out as he could feel himself spill his seed over the floor, adding to the mess already there, his orgasm hitting him full force and making him fall to his knees, desperately drinking in air through his lungs, but not before Alfred pulled the carrot out of his opening, bringing it up to his mouth and licking the fluids off the end of it, relishing the taste.

Alfred leaned over him, giggling, and Arthur could feel his erection rubbing against him, but he didn't think he had energy to do it anymore...

"We need to do this again, that was amazing!"

Tears still fell from Arthur's forest-coloured eyes, he felt slightly disappointed with himself. Not for letting the food burn, because it always burned, he knew it did, but Alfred seemed to like it each time, so he never minded too much, but he was disappointed that he came and Alfred would now probably ask for a few minutes, go to the bathroom, and get himself off.

He was a gentleman, he'd be damned if he let Alfred take care of such a thing on his own after servicing him so well!

He turned and literally jumped onto Alfred's lap, kissing him deeply, able to taste himself on Alfred's tongue as he let the other fully dominate him, wanting to make him feel as good as he'd made Arthur feel.

He could feel Alfred's large hands fist into his clothes as well as feel his erection press into his stomach, even harder than before.

Pulling away, there was a small strand of saliva that connected the two until Alfred lifted his hand to rub at the corner of his mouth. "What's with the affection all of a sudden?"

It was a sort of hypocritical question, considering what he'd just done, but this was Alfred, so never mind.

"Y-you owe me! You...used a carrot on me, you owe me _you_ now! I want to be with Alfred, not a vegetable, and anyway...Y-you haven't cum yet, it's...not fair. But only cause I'm nice like that, don't get any ideas!"

'I know you're lying, but for once, I'll let you off...' Alfred thought as he gripped the Brit's chin to pull him back into another kiss.

/

Arthur turned over in bed, complaining about how much his back and arse hurt, and throwing a pillow at Alfred, who was sitting by the edge of the bed.

'Maybe I got a little too excited. Can't blame me though, he's far too sexy to lay off of...'

**-End-**

_Author's time to speak, hell yeah!_

Well, that was...fun to write, really! I've never been to good at writing smut (reading it? Not a problem /laughs/) but I think I've gotten a little better from the last time, to which I think I'll blame the Hetalia Kink Meme for ;D! Without that damn place, there are a ...lot of things I'd never have thought of when it comes to writing c:!

I have this Doujin 'Honey Line', but only in Chinese, so I basically made up the wording and scenario and speech based on what I interpreted from the pictures, so no, it's not exactly a doujin-fic XD!

I did try to make it sweet, because I'm a sucker for sweet!USUK/UKUS~ And for once, it's not angst-filled, like everything I write nowadays XD!

Long AN is long o3o! Hope you enjoyed~ If you liked it, please review~!


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